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Posts Tagged ‘Child Protective Services’

The things I learned the hard way and the things I just plain made up:

  • A bird in hand is worth two in a bush just as a million dollars stuffed in your mattress is worth two invested in a sketchy hedge fund.
  • A good conscience is a soft pillow but a soft pillow is an assurance of not being able to move your neck for many days.
  • A light purse makes a heavy heart but a Chanel purse goes with everything.

Well, maybe not everything

  • Cleanliness is next to Godliness but a Café Coffee Day is always near a Barista – which truly makes no sense to me at all.
  • A fool and his money are soon parted. An alcoholic and his kids are soon parted as well but mostly by Child Protective Services.
  • A watched pot never boils. Boiling pot is never a good idea.
  • Cut your coat according to your cloth – and the size of your hips.
  • A rolling stone gathers no moss but the Rolling Stones have gathered some.
  • Bad news travels fast, so do bad smells.
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Presents work just as well.
  • A drowning man will clutch at straws but a drunken man will go for your chest.
  • Children should be seen and not heard – as should white rappers.

Actually, we could live without seeing them too

  • Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Looking someone you just met in the mouth is also not advisable.
  • A friend in need is a friend indeed but a friend in velvet should be ignored in the street.

Seriously, cross the street and run!

  • Laughter is the best medicine but if this post didn’t do it for you there’s always Prozac.

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