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Posts Tagged ‘weekend’

Although I had an extremely tiring day yesterday, I felt compelled to put something up – so as not to disappoint my giant following of about four readers. I sat down at about 1 a.m and spent an hour writing a post called “Stories from Sunday”, a collection of silly conversations I had yesterday. Just as I was about to publish it, I discovered my internet had just up and died when I wasn’t looking. DRAT!

Since I had spent so much time on it, in a sleep induced stupor to boot, I tried desperately to revive my failed internet. This attempt involved the following steps.

• First, I unplugged the internet wire and plugged it back in. I don’t know what it connects to but I know that it’s for the internet. After doing this five times, I gave up.

• I then attempted to connect through all the browsers available – Opera, Mozilla, Internet Explorer and other things I didn’t know I had. I did this by opening up all the browsers and typing words into the Google toolbar.

Potato

Cat

Ring

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

This did not work either.

• Turning the monitor on and off several times was my next big idea. I wasn’t entirely sure what this would achieve but by the end of it, I noted it was quite relaxing.

• Then, with renewed enthusiasm, I set out to hit the Connect button 42 times – a task that was neither fun nor useful.

• By this time I had run out of ideas and decided some brisk but dazed walking around the house would help get the ol’ brain-juices flowing. It in fact, did not.

• All the same, I returned moments later to sing “Someone like you” by Adele to the computer. Despite my smashing rendition, the internet was not roused.

• My last and final attempt was to loom over my sleeping brother, crying “Why is the internet torturing me? Help me! Help me! “. Lucky for him, he can sleep through an earthquake, so weeping while trying to drag him out of bed and to the computer was utterly futile. The only thing I got out of the exercise was a few choice words and a view of the back of his head as he turned the other way and fell back asleep within seconds.

At long last, I decided that the post may have been terrible, this was my internet’s way of telling me that I should not inflict such poor writing on my readers. In hindsight, it did have a large portion dedicated to a day at the zoo and a foetus, so at least you know you didn’t miss much!

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Saturday and Sunday! These are the only two days I get off a week (That doesn’t sound right, does it?). I spend Saturday sleeping in, then bouncing off the walls with excitement, watching movies, drinking coffee, meeting my four friends ( Yeah, I’m not the most popular person in the world). Sunday, on the other hand, is mostly spent doubled over in woe at the fact that I have to go back to work the next day.

This Saturday, however, is different. It is the final of the cricket World Cup, which each and every single person I know will be watching. The plan is to congregate at the usual location for this 10 hour long sporting event. Unfortunately for me, watching the elderly and unfit move slowly along a sunny ground is possibly less interesting than having to watch beige paint dry.

To allay my boredom, I’m going to take on a small project for the duration of the game. Building a vacuum cleaner! I couldn’t possibly begin to explain the train-wreck of thought that led me to this but it beats the hell out of a slow death by cricket.

Summing up, the post that is about to unveil before you is a detailed account of my completely ridiculous attempt to build a vacuum cleaner – at a coffee place – while all my friends have their eyeballs glued to a large projector screen.

To start with, I down a cup of coffee and set out in the heat of the afternoon to buy the “apparatus”. I’m back with everything I need…

PLASTICS JAR or BOTTLE

 

GARDEN HOSE

 

KITCHEN SPONGE

 

SILICONE

 

ELECTRIC PUMP

Great news! There is nowhere in the city where you can buy this.

Here I am, a full day’s wages later, with three-quarters of the things I need to make a vacuum cleaner, no possible way to do it and seven more hours of the game to go.

So what did I do with all these things? ( I swear, my “models” did not do this under duress. )

GARDEN HOSE

I know what you’re thinking. ” That’s all they could come up with for the hose ? ” But no, none of the other pictures were anything that these two could allow on the internet.

SILICON

BEFORE

AFTER

KITCHEN SPONGE

Not just a kitchen sponge anymore!

In hindsight, there were other things I could’ve done to pass my time. Slept. Stayed home! Watched TV. Read a book. Instead, I chose to take up this completely futile task which was over much before it started.

On the bright side, at least we won!

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It’s Friday evening. I am sitting here counting every last second till the clock strikes FINALLY-I-CAN-GET-THE-HECK-OUT-OF-HERE. I am so bored. My brain is about to stop functioning completely.

And out of nowhere Friday is playing in my head!

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Her auto-tuned voice soothes me. It distracts me from the fact that I have almost no thoughts in my head. She must be used to that.

Kickin’ in the front seat

Sittin’ in the back seat

Gotta make my mind up

Which seat can I take?

Which seat WILL I take? Obviously, I will not be in a convertible driven by 13 year olds. Maybe the movie theatre. Maybe a restaurant. Who knows?

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Damn! I need more lyrics. This is how bored I am. Google Search.

Fun, fun, think about fun

You know what it is

I got this, you got this

My friend is by my right

I got this, you got this

Now you know it

I literally do not know what this means. I laugh. Children are stupid. I just spelled children with 5 E’s. It’s totally okay though BECAUSE

It’s Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday

The boredom is starting to return. Slowly, Rebecca Black is not as interesting. Until I read this ( I can’t believe I almost forgot the best part )

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday

Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)

We-we-we so excited

We so excited

We gonna have a ball today

 

The day before Thursday was Wednesday. Wednesday I still hadn’t heard this.

Tomorrow is Saturday

And Sunday comes after…wards

I don’t want this weekend to end

I could’ve skipped the first standard.This song is so educational.

Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes

Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)

(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me

Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream

Enter Dr. Dre style rapper. More incomprehensible lyrics. I could’ve left 3 minutes ago. Why am I still here ?

Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend

We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

It’s not often I agree with Lady Gaga but sometimes you just can’t argue with the truth. Rebecca Black & Friday are pure genius. This has been a good 17 minutes.

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