Traffic Troubles and Trout

What do you do when you’re stuck in traffic for an hour completely alone except for the rickshaw driver?

Turn on your i Pod. Listen to Fergie. Wish you were Fergilicious

Read the back of the shampoo bottle you just bought.

Think about whether you really do have dull, brittle hair?

Watch the bald man who has stepped out of his car to yell at everyone and direct traffic.

Attempt to inspect the veins bulging in his head. He is standing quite close.

Wonder if his head will explode?

Wonder what you would do if his head did explode?

Decide you really like the top you’re wearing– which is white. You wouldn’t want it to be covered in blood and brain. Pray his head doesn’t explode.

Look at your reflection in the window of the car next to you. Think you’re looking quite nice today.

Make faces at your reflection.

Pout.

Stick your tongue out of your mouth.

Try to touch your nose with it.

Realize the driver is looking back at you.

Hide.

Attempt to go on Facebook from your phone. Nearly burst into tears at the fact that your internet isn’t working.

Think about how much you hate Facebook. It wouldn’t have been fun anyway.

Decide this should go on your blog.

Think about what you would call the post. Traffic – trouble – something.

Think about whether you abuse your power to alliterate. Decide you don’t.

Traffic – Trouble – Trout?

Does trout taste nice?

Do they just give it to you fried or can they make gravy out of it?

Baked trout?

Make a note to Google trout.

Feel hungry.

Fear you might never get out of this traffic. Rummage through your bag for things to eat in case you have to live in the rickshaw.

Decide that your peach and almond nail cream will do.

Will you help the driver or will it come down to survival of the fittest? Every man for himself?

You’re bigger than that. He can have the shampoo you bought. The protein in it is identical to that in hair so it should be edible.

Notice that the other seven people who’ve left their cars to direct traffic have succeeded. You’re home free.

Realize you could’ve just walked.

Oh well!

 

 

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